Awake My Soul
by Bristiel
Summary: Bridgit Bishop joins one of Supernatural City's two warring gangs, the Angels, in an attempt to help the Psychics and Hunters end city violence before more civilians get hurt. But then she comes across a big secret, one that would end up killing thousands of innocent people. Can she betray the only person she has left?
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

**Author Note:** _**I currently have chapter one written I just need to type it up and post it, after this storm passes. So bear with me, the first chapter will be up either today or tomorrow depending on the weather.**_

**Main Characters: _Bridgit/Castiel (Friendship only)_ **

**Summary: _Bridgit Bishop joins one of Supernatural City's two warring gangs, the Angels, in an attempt to help the Psychics and Hunters end city violence before more civilians get hurt. But then she comes across a big secret, one that would end up killing thousands of innocent people. Can she betray the only person she has left?_ **

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Even though a story has a beginning and an end it is neither beginning nor end in itself. Every story is just a scene taken from an even greater story. A story knows no bounds, it is a magical wondrous thing that can be altered, stretched, molded, formed, branched, but never can it be erased. This story, like all others, is really a story within a story within a story told from the perspective of a very ordinary person. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. Let us begin our story before we can actually begin our story,

Once upon a time in the big city of Supernatural there existed a gang, or a criminal organization if you wanted the politically correct term, known as the Angels. Now this gang had a leader known only as the "Father" and he controlled his underlings with an iron fist. He said what they could and couldn't do and how far they were allowed to go. Basically, he kept a balance inside this city. There was crime, yes, but without him pulling the strings everything would have been pure chaos and a lot more people could have been hurt. And then, one day, he vanished and nobody knew what happened to him. Some say he left the country, some say he died, others say he was just taking a vacation and would be back eventually.

But as weeks turned to months things took a turn for the worst. Soon members were becoming more daring and breaking the rules, everything was chaos without a leader and soon the two most powerful members began battling it out for the open leadership role that everyone assumed would never be filled by Father again. The violence increased until finally Michael won and cast Lucifer from the group.

Lucifer, while furious, was surprisingly not heard from for a long time until he resurfaced as the leader of a new gang, the Demons. Now the Demons quickly rose to power until they rivaled the Angels, and where the Angels were commanded to control themselves the Demons had no such qualms and they did whatever they wanted. To them pain and destruction was fun, it wasn't just about the money and connections.

And as all great monsters do the two factions clashed often and hard, gang fights began springing up all over the city killing and injuring innocent civilians who were in the wrong place at the wrong time without a care in the world. It was becoming so out of control that finally the Chief of Police, John Winchester, said enough was enough. Something had to be done. Laws were being cracked down on hard but no matter how much he tried it seemed that there just weren't enough officers to fight against two large groups.

The night Mary Winchester died at the hands of a Demon was the night John came up with an idea that would get him the revenge he wanted and the protection the city needed. Calling in some old acquaintances and a few favors he started a group known as the "Hunters". They were an elite force whose main goal was to hunt down Demons and Angels and capture them. Preferably alive if able.

And then the fourth organization was created, but this one was a secret group known only as the Psychics. Now this group wouldn't just let anyone in, it ran a tighter ship than even the Hunters and they hand picked their members for whatever job they needed fulfilled. They didn't always pick the most skilled people or most extraordinary. Matter of fact they usually went for the normal ones, ones who wouldn't stick out of a crowd. Each Psychic had a job, some were go-betweens, some spies, some were just told to keep their ears open around town and to report to a person. But each member knew no more than 5 other members, and nobody knew each other by name or looks. It was all very secretive and they were encouraged to keep their identities as well hidden as possible.

Now the Psychics, when they got information about either gang, would then either look into the issue themselves or would pass it onto the Hunters. Their main goal was to shut down the Demons and the Angels and try to bring complete peace into the city. Of course, though, the Psychics were just a rumor. They didn't _actually_ exist. Everyone knew that.

And thus we begin our story with a soon to be member of an organization that didn't exist, a young woman known as Bridgit Heather Bishop.

Bridgit was neither special nor was she common, she was completely, painfully ordinary in every way. She went to college, worked at a bar, and had no current ambitions past surviving the civil dispute raging in the streets. But, life has a way of surprising us and choosing us for greater plans than we had ever even dreamed of. So when Bridgit woke up one hot Sunday morning in June and went to start her daily routine, as usual, she never imagined that her life could drastically change at any moment.


	2. Thistle and Weeds

**Thistle and Weeds**

_But plant your hope with good seeds,  
Don't cover yourself with thistle and weeds,  
Rain down, rain down on me,_

**AN:_ Lovely thanks to Ave for being my Beta, she is the literal Cas to my Bridgit. Anyway a quick note, chapters end where I feel it needs to end so not all of them are going to be this long. Enjoy the story, and remember, I do not own Supernatural nor do I make money off of__ this.__  
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Addison was making busy, and as usual, Bridgit just could not understand how a human being could be so damn cheerful this early in the morning, for goodness sake it was seven a.m. And she was just standing over there humming some cheerful tune as she fried up the bacon. Oh well, Addison was a morning person full of sunshine daisy buttercups while Bridgit was perfectly fine being a grouchy bear as she downed cup after cup of bitter, black coffee.

"Newspaper says there was another fight last Wednesday, three civilians dead, five injured." Bridgit was reading the news out to Addison like she did every Sunday, it was the same routine they had picked up since their parents died. Addison would cook, bacon and pancakes with boysenberry syrup, and Bridgit read out the important or interesting news. Then, when Addison was finished they would sit across from each other and eat their Sunday breakfast before heading out to complete their respective schedules.

"Three dead?" Her sister looked over her shoulder, the sizzling bacon momentarily forgotten, "Maybe we should stay in today, we could rent a movie and eat a ton of unhealthy food. We haven't indulged in a while it could be fun."

Bridgit just shook her head no. She loved her sisters cooking, she was a bakery worker and made some mean lemon bars, but no bribe would keep her from the job interview she had scheduled today. Besides, Addison was being so plainly unsubtle that if she did decide to stay home it would be like encouraging a bad habit. Even if her sister was just worried. But then again, both of them had a tendency to worry a little more than usual. Over the last two years the city had been steadily declining, and fast. With the leader of the notorious Angels gone, there had been complete and utter chaos on the streets. Next thing you know, there were two gangs wreaking havoc against the city and each other, causing everything to go to shit. Nowhere felt safe anymore, paranoia and fear were like a disease catching from one person to another faster than a forest fire during a drought. But she would be damned if she let that stop her from living her life.

"Sorry sis, I have places to go and people to see." Her mouth was open in a wide grin, flashing white teeth as Addison frowned down at her, before returning to the skillet and turning the bacon.

"What could be more important than spending quality time with your favorite sister?" The red-head demanded, causing Bridgit to roll her eyes. Her sister thought she was terrifying when she was angry but it was more like a cute little kitten hissing at a ball of yarn before pouncing on it. Harmless. Unfortunately, she was persistent when she got into her 'motherly' moods.

"Well, for starters, I happen to have a job interview over at Apple Republic. Wouldn't you rather I have a nice, respectable job selling clothes instead of serving alcohol to already smashed men at O' Malley's? Addison may be persistent but Bridgit knew how to to counter her sister's nature well enough. That and Bridgit's job had been a sore spot for months and the cause of many a sisterly fight in the Bishop household. Apparently, according to Addison anyway, it was far too dangerous to be a barmaid these days. Let's ignore the fact that Bridgit had taken self defense lessons and could handle herself against a few drunks wanting to grab her ass. And if, by some chance, she couldn't handle them she always her her pepper spray.

"But you'll come home after your interview?" Addison was being even more persistent than usual, she must have been a lot more worried than she had let on earlier. With all these fights breaking out and the increased civilian death rate… She couldn't really blame her. Hell, even Bridgit was being a little more paranoid than usual when out in public. The other day she caught herself unwittingly holding onto her pepper spray, ready to use it. Even the Hunters lately seemed to be losing hope at keeping down the crime rate, but at least they weren't delusional enough to think they could completely stop it. They just wanted it back down at a more manageable and safe level. Anything would be better than what they had to deal with right now. It was like every time an Angel or a Demon got taken down five more members were recruited, it was ridiculous.

"All right, I promise I'll come home right after the interview, mom. But only if you whip up a batch or two of your Choconut balls." And of course she caved. She had been doing that a lot lately, to her own irritation, but family was important. So, if Addison wanted Bridgit home because she was terrified for her safety, then she would stay home and spend the day with her sister. After all, they were the only family the other had left. They had to stick by each other.

"Deal!" She was smiling now, a pleased grin on her heat-flushed pale skin. With an extra little pip in her resumed humming her crazy, morning-happy sister practically floated to the table to set down a plate in front of Bridgit and her own seat which she had taken. "By the way, what time is your interview?"

"Ten a.m. on the dot, but I was going to stop by the the market first and pick up a few items, so if you need anything you might want to go ahead and write it on the list because once I leave the store I'm not going back because you forgot to tell me to grab something." She took a bite out of her heavily smother pancakes, closing her eyes and just savoring the buttery, boysenberry goodness. She didn't know what her sister did to them, but damn she made the best pancakes she had ever tasted in her life.

"I don't need anything." Her sister had also begun to dig into her own breakfast, "Just be careful, don't do anything stupid."

"Are you sure you don't need anything?" Bridgit asked, but her mouth was still full so it came out a mumbled mess that Addison magically understood, it must have been a twin thing because it didn't even closely resemble the English language. She at least managed to swallow before she made her next comment, a frown on her face, "And what makes you think I would do something stupid?"

"I'm positive, and don't give me that Bridgit Heather Bishop. You nearly scared me half to death with your habit of acting rashly without thinking of the consequences and danger that you're putting yourself in!" She went full on, skipping the whole I'm displeased so I'm going to frown stage and going right on to the I'm really worried so I'm going to act pissed death glare.

"That was one damn time, Addie!" Bridgit's silverware clinked against the porcelain plate as she set them down, giving her full attention to her sister, "And you know what? I'd do it again because _I_ _saved that little girl's life!_"

"_You almost died!_" Addison shot right back, "What if that Hunter hadn't shown up just in time to save your ass. What then?" She had dropped her own silverware, her hand reaching out to grab Bridgit's, "I need you Bri. Dammit y-." She cut herself off, unwilling to say it out loud, but still the unspoken words hung in the air between them- _you're all I have left._

Bridgit squeezed her sisters hand before gently letting it go, "I'm never going to leave you, ok? I promise. I'll be back by twelve but before then I'll be sure to avoid doing anything _stupid_." She smiled at Addie before covering her plate in saran wrap, placing it in the fridge and heading off to go get a shower. She had more than enough time to eat breakfast and get ready for her interview, but she didn't feel very hungry anymore.

**SB·SB·SB·SB·SB·SB·SB·SB·SB·SB·SB·SB·SB·SB·SB·SB·SB·SB·SB·SB·SB·SB·SB·SB·SB·SB**

"Thank you for coming, we'll call you in a few days." The woman behind the desk was bleach-blonde, extremely tan, and wearing a shade of pink lipstick that made her look… Well words could not describe. Let's just say that it was not her color and move onto happier subjects. A well-manicured hand reached out and Bridgit grabbed it, forcing an enthusiastic smile on her face as they shook hands.

"Thank you, Miss Walsh, for considering me, it's been a pleasure." Bridgit stood up, her wide, fake smile still in place as she lied through her teeth. It most certainly had _not_ been a pleasure, not for Bridgit anyway. The lady had kept making _subtle_references about Bridgit's skin tone, I guess in yuppie land it was ok to have fake orange skin but God forbid someone have natural caramel-mocha toned skin. Dammit, now she wanted a coffee but the closest Moonbucks was a mile out of her way. They were supposed to open up a store in the mall but they hadn't gotten around to it yet.

And she really wanted that coffee, she had to suck it up and pretend for a full hour that she wasn't offended by certain comments, such as _one can never be too careful of who they hire in dangerous times like these_, as the lady eyed her down. But at least the damn job would pay well and was worth having to play nice to overly-paranoid and downright annoying people all day long, that is, if she got the job.

Smoothing out her skirt she left the _tastefully _decorated office and made her way out past the racks of clothing and into the busy foot traffic that seemed to plague the mall every day all day. Ah yes, another downside she would have to put up with if she got the job at Apple Republic. And so, to cheer herself up, she kept chanting one thing inside her head over and over as she pushed her way through the thick throng of people. '_Just think of the money'_.

What Bridgit hadn't notice as she fought her way through the crowd, trying to keep a death grip on her purse in case of thieves, was that she was being closely followed ever since she left the Apple Republic. She didn't notice the strange men following her to her car. She did notice them, however, when one grabbed her from behind, his arm pinning hers to her side while his free hand covered her mouth to muffle the screams. She was trying to kick and claw at anything she could, and she felt a thrill of satisfaction when she heard one of the two men grunt in pain as she kicked him in the shin with one of her heels. Unfortunately the other man soon had grabbed her legs and they managed to drag her into an inconspicuous black car parked next to her own little yellow bug. Strangely enough as they started to drive out of the mall parking lot all she could think was something along the lines of '_Addison is going to kill me for getting myself kidnapped'_.

Finally, after they were far enough from the mall to relax, the guy who had grabbed her from behind removed his hand from her mouth allowing Bridgit to take in huge swallows of hair, her chest heaving from trying to throw the brutes off. Of course, maybe he should have kept his hand over her mouth because the first thing to leave it was, "What the fucking hell do you want!"

She tried to kick out again but the brunette was still pinning down her legs, and she had enough of her wits about her to notice that her skirt was thankfully covering everything it was supposed to be covering still. So there she was, crammed in the back seat with two bulky, strange men who had just _kidnapped _her while a third guy was driving her who knows the hell where. She couldn't even hit any of them because they obviously didn't trust her to behave, for good reason, but still. At least she might have dented the door a little, it was a little hard to tell from her position, but that might definitely be a dent.

No matter what she said or tried to do all three men ignored her, and her anger was beginning to be replaced with fear. For one of the first times in her life Bridgit was genuinely, completely scared. Who were these men? Where were they taking her? Why? Her only living relative was Addison and while they lived comfortably enough they were far from being well off.

"Will somebody just tell me what the hell is going on?" She tried again knowing it was a futile attempt, what kidnappers actually gave the kidnapped any details about why they were taken? She was considering attempting to kick them again before making a try for the door, scary grunts holding her down or not, when finally the one who was pinning down her arms spoke up.

"Boss has a job for you. You're not in any danger, so until we get there it would be easier for everyone if you just cooperated." The one holding her legs had shared, or she assumed he shared a glance, with the guy behind her. That didn't help alleviate her fears at all. Nope.

"What boss?" Dammit if they wanted her to cooperate then she wanted answers, _now_. Unfortunately, she was really in no place to demand anything and had to settle with being afraid, annoyed and extremely uncomfortable for however long it took to get wherever they were going.

"You'll meet her when you get there." Not having her questions answered properly was just another thing she had to settle for, sadly. But hey, at least she had discovered the job requirement, the ability to be vague and annoying.

No matter what Bridgit did after that she got no vocal response. They did, however, seem to have no problems with physically restraining her when she _did_ try to make a go for one of the passenger doors. It seemed that just as she was resigning herself to going along with it and _cooperating_ was when they finally arrived at their destination. They had pulled up at an average suburban house located in what of those community housing neighborhoods, the usually named after some form of water like _Swan River_ or _Crystal Springs_. The ones where all the homes are basically a generic cookie cutter image of three different houses changed in small ways to make them appear unique.

Thug1 and Thug2, as she had so cleverly nicknamed them inside her mind, each grabbed one of her arms and dragged her into the house, refusing to let go of her until they stopped in front of an ornate, mahogany door. Thug1, the brunette that had been holding onto her legs before, knocked on the door and practically shoved Bridgit inside the room after a woman called for them to enter.

Bridgit's first thought when she entered the room, or I guess you could call it a study, was that she was highly unimpressed. It was almost completely bare of any decorations. It had a few pieces of furniture which included a bookshelf, desk and two chairs. Other than that the only thing Bridgit could see was stacks upon stacks of folders and sheets of paper. The desk was barely any better, there were scattered sheets all over it with random office supplies sticking out here and there. There was absolutely no order to be seen, this couldn't even be considered an organized mess!

And behind the desk sitting in a comfortable looking office chair was a woman who appeared to be in her mid to late twenties, had deep greenish-brown eyes and curly, dark brown hair. Her face was covered in a big friendly smile and she was wearing what appeared to be an old, faded AC/DC shirt. If it weren't for the current circumstances Bridgit might have actually liked her.

"Have a seat." The woman hand motioned to the empty chair in front of Bridgit, who slowly walked towards it and sat down, smoothing her skirt over her knees. The door shut behind her leaving the two women alone.

Bridgit couldn't help but hope that maybe, finally, she would be given the answers that she was so desperate to seek, mainly, why the hell was I brought here? But she found when she actually had the chance to ask these questions and get proper answers that her voice wouldn't work. It was something about this room, or the situation, or maybe even the woman that was holding her back. She didn't quite know. Thankfully the woman in front of her didn't seem to be having the same issue.

"My name is Pamela. Pamela Barnes." She introduced herself with complete ease as she leaned back into her chair, her eyes never leaving Bridgit for a moment. It was almost as if she didn't care that Bridgit knew her name after kidnapping her, as if she was sure she wouldn't press charges. Maybe it was a fake name. Bridgit just stared back, her body as tense as Pamela's was at ease. Bridgit had a feeling, though, that it was just a show and that underneath her calm facade she was as ready for anything as Bridgit was at the moment.

When Bridgit refused to respond she continued on with that same irritating smile, as if nothing were wrong or out of place, as if Bridgit were just a guest, not a victim of kidnapping, "And you are Bridgit Heather Bishop."

"Guilty." She snapped at the older woman before even thinking, "I suppose it's safe to assume this wasn't a random kidnapping, then?" Her tone was laced with a hint of venom and a lot of sarcasm. Honestly, at this point Bridgit didn't even care if she wasn't exactly safe and free to say whatever she wanted without consequence. All that anger from before was back at full force now that she had met the _boss_, and if this woman needed Bridgit then dammit she could be as bitchy as she wanted. If she didn't then she was probably dead anyway. She might as well let out all that bitterness and resentment at being dragged out of a freaking parking lot and not one single person had noticed a kidnapping. Right there. Perhaps they did notice and they just didn't care, or were scared. It didn't matter because in the end it all led right up to one point, people weren't trustworthy. A favorite old motto of Bridgit's that was hitting her at full force.

All the while Pamela's smile only widened even further, which Bridgit would have sworn wasn't possible before she saw it, "Not at all. We've had our eye on you as a possible candidate for a little job, and we've finally decided that you would be simple _perfect_for it.

"What job?" How many times now had she been told about a job? She knew it was at least once before in the car from Thug2, point was it was at least the second damn time had mentioned a job but nobody seemed to want to elaborate and tell her what the hell the job actually was. She was full out glaring at this point and her, "I keep hearing about a damn job but nobody wants to tell me what the job is."

"Ever heard of the Psychics?" Pamela was still as infuriatingly calm and and collected as ever, it was almost as if she secretly enjoyed annoying Bridgit, and what made it worse was that she was just ignoring Bridgit's anger. Which was only making it even worse.

"There's no such thing." She responded after a moments hesitation, "Psychics don't really exist. Neither do vampires. Especially the sparkly kind, in case you were wondering." She couldn't help throwing in that last bit.

"Not psychics, Bridgit, but the organization Psychics. You have heard of them I presume?" Pamela repeated the question, staring Bridgit straight in the eye as if she could read her mind, as if she knew Bridgit had intentionally answered falsely. She was, of course, being completely serious.

Bridget let out a small, nervous laugh, "You brought me here to discuss an imaginary organization?"

"I assure you that the Psychics is a very real organization, I would know since I was the one who founded it." The smile on her face turned decidedly smug at the small flash of surprise that passed across Bridgit's face.

"You're shitting me, right? Because first of all, the Psychics is just a rumor passed on from hopeful idiot to curious gossiper and vice versa, nobody actually believes a group like that exists. Nobody is secretly working to get rid of all the games and crime, they're too busy just trying to make it through the day and need some kind of blind hope to cling to." She continued to shake her head in disbelief, "And if it did exist, and you did start it, why tell me?"

Pamela thunked her boot clad feet up on top of her desk and leaned further back in her chair, her hands resting behind her head, "Besides, I know more about you than you think. You want the gangs gone, and the feud over. You want the streets to be safe again for your sister, you don't want to lose her like you did your parents. You're afraid one night coming home she might be the next casualty listen in the Sunday paper." Bridgit looked up sharply, brown eyes instantly connecting with green flecked ones, "Because you could do your job and nobody would even spare you a second glance. You have the right background, you live in a neighborhood full of gang violence. It would be seamless."

She sat back up in her chair, feet once again planted firmly on the ground as her voice became more passionate, "You have self defense lessons under your belt, which actually isn't very uncommon but still useful, you're minoring in performance arts so you should be able to keep secrets and lie better than the average person."

"And my looks? Won't someone notice I dress a little well and that I don't exactly look like I've had a hard life recently." Bridgit was tapping her foot impatiently, wondering why she was even going along with this. But truth be told she knew that even if this woman was crazy, lying or just insane it would be worth giving it a shot just so she could say at least she tried.

"Not all girls who grew up rough have scars on the outside. We'll help supply you with a more suitable wardrobe, you already know how to act, other than that there's not much to say."

"And if I don't want to help?"

"Then you can go."

"That's it?" She asked in surprise, there were no threats, no warnings to keep quiet?

"I'm not going to say we absolutely need you because we'll find someone else. But you are our top choice for the next batch of recruits, but we're not going to force you to do this because it is dangerous. If you were found out then you and your sister would both be in danger." She answered honestly and bluntly, not wanting to sugar coat it, "Our only request is that you keep everything we discussed a secret. It can't get out." Her last words had an edge of steel behind them.

"Do you really think this could stop gang violence? Would it be better than it was before?"

"Our goal is to completely shut down Demons and Angels, to stomp out any and all crime in the city. And we could as soon as we cut off the heads of the two largest criminal organizations the rest will be easy to wipe out of the city." She said it with such conviction and surely that Bridgit found herself believing her. Yet, she couldn't help feeling deep down that something was off, or wrong. She pushed the feeling aside, there could be nothing wrong with a goal like that, right?

"Then I'm in. What do you want me to do?"

"We want you to become an Angel."


	3. Wretched Man

**Wretched Man**

_The things I don't want to do_

_I just keep doing_

_The things I want to do_

_I can't do_

_What a wretched man I am becoming_

_What a wretched man I have become_

**AN: ****_Many thanks to my lovely beta, Avery, without her this chapter would be full of all kinds of silly mistakes. I wasn't originally planning on having Castiel show up this early in the story but it just sort of happened. Cas is a nickname and until (if) Bridgit ever calls him that he will not be referred to as such. I still own nothing pertaining to Supernatural besides my plot and Bridgit._**

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Bridgit couldn't help pacing throughout the room, occasionally glancing at the door in impatience and anxiety. When she first arrived at the office building, she had been led into this sparse white room containing two chairs and a desk, nothing else adorned the room; unless you counted her backpack which was laying in the chair she had previously occupied. All the while all she could think was _this is a bad idea._ The same five words repeating themselves over and over in her head, and every time it repeated it sounded more true than it had before. It was too late to back out, even if her conscious would allow it. Since she was here to meet with Uriel again, which was such a _joy_ to look forward to, since he had left such a good impression the first time they met. The fact that his ego and attitude were big enough to rival the empire state building were of course _endearing_ to Bridgit. He was definitely well on his way on becoming her favorite person in the world. The point was, her name was in, she was an official candidate, as if joining the Angels was some sort of prize or honor. Sadly, though, it probably was to some people. After all, they only accepted the best into their _flock_.

She finally stopped and shifted onto the balls of her sneaker clad feet, one hand running through her hair nervously- maybe she should put her hair back into a ponytail after all. She didn't know why she was called there, it could end up getting in her way if she just left it down. Deciding that putting it up was the best option after all, she walked over to her bag and dug through it finally pulling out an elastic. She was about to actually use it when the doorknob began to turn.

"Bishop?" The door had opened to reveal a tough looking man in a business suit with dark skin, broad shoulders and a nasty attitude. _Uriel_.

"Yeah?" Bridgit looked at him cautiously, she had her features schooled into a look of cocky assurance instead of the building frustration and doubt that had been building as they kept her waiting for an ungodly amount of time.

"Sit." He pointed towards the chair that her bag was currently occupying. Without a word she obeyed, moving the bag and sitting down, and throwing her hair back into a sloppy bun by the time he had sat across from her.

He sat across from her staring at her for five minutes, trying to intimidate her, before he actually spoke to her again, "We have your first assignment, you'll be pairing up with an experienced who will be there not only to prevent you from ruining everything, but to also evaluate you." He was looking her over in undisguised disdain; taking in her cheap tight tank top and holey skinny jeans. Bridgit could tell he was hoping she would screw up. She added sexism to his long list of likeable traits.

"What's the assignment?" She had an arrogant smirk on her face, playing the cocky, self-entitled thug role that would take over her life for who knows how long. Even in private she would have to take on these characteristics to prevent slip ups. Inside, though, she was having a mini panic attack that she would say or do something wrong, she could literally die tonight and Addison would never know the truth. She would believe her sister was attempting to join a gang and died in the process, leaving her all alone with her disappointment and sorrow.

He continued to stare down at her, well glare really. She couldn't be one hundred percent sure because that might just be how he looked all the time… At least whenever she's seen him. Then he opened his big mouth and ruined the beautiful silence, "Since you're obviously a novice and too stupid to do anything _too_ important you get errand duty. There's a man who owes us, or rather, Michael a lot of money. Your job is to go and get him to pay his debt." He had a look in his eye, like he knew she wouldn't like what she was going to have to do. He was obviously pleased about it. The bastard.

Instead of commenting on this or opening her big mouth, she tried to look put out at his insult and in general clueless. There was no point in trying to impress him anyway, she knew his type and any attempts to earn his favor wouldn't impress him or make him like her. Hell, he'd probably just outright hate her instead, at least this way he sort of tried to hide the fact that her very presence was detestable, "So, you guys just want me to go get this guy's payment?"

His lip curled up into a sneer, "Try not to ask stupid questions, I don't like to repeat myself." He stood up and was heading to the door when he looked at her from over his shoulder, "Castiel will be here in a few minutes to take you out on your first job. Make sure you're ready." She couldn't help feeling genuine smugness; it must have nearly killed him to give her any form of a heads up.

And so she was left alone again, just perfect. Bridgit seemed to be doing a lot of waiting around for people lately. Which she absolutely hated because when you wait for something, eventually you're going to have to think since you have nothing better to do. Thinking then leads to remembering, and when you begin to remember things all those events and moments you have spent your whole life trying to forget all seem to attack you at once. Doubt, fear, regret, confusion, self-loathing, sorrow, all of it will fill your mind until you think you can't handle anymore, and still it just keeps on going. What mostly raced through her mind was the fact that she was lying to her little sister about pretty much everything going on in her life right now. She had lied more to Addison in the past week than she had ever lied in her entire life so far. They just kept piling up leaving Bridgit helpless and confused about what to do, she could tell her twin was worried, she knew something was wrong, but she just trusted Bridgit too much to not question it, yet. It made her feel like the shittiest person in the world. She didn't deserve that kind of blind faith.

And so by the time her '_babysitter'_, as she had mentally dubbed him, showed up around ten minutes later to collect her, she was in a foul, depressed mood. And, to be honest, he didn't really look like a happy, warm ball of sunshine and daisies either. Didn't they just make the perfect pair.

"Bridgit." The new man was one she hadn't seen around before in any of her limited dealings with Angels and he was a vast improvement to Uriel. For starters, he wasn't Uriel, but he was also a lot easier on the eyes, something that Bridgit couldn't help but mentally admit to herself. Speaking of eyes, he had some of the biggest, beautiful blue eyes she had ever seen in her life.

"And I'm guessing that you must be Castiel." She stood up, putting a hand on her hip, making an obvious show of looking him over before meeting his eyes. She cocked an eyebrow as if she was a little less than impressed with what she saw.

"Yes, I am Castiel. Your name is Bridgit?" He appeared to be irritated now, staring down at her like she was stupid and wasting his time. Amazingly he managed to convey all of this by barely moving any of his facial features at all. The man had talent.

"Bridgit Bishop, and it is lovely to meet you, too." She didn't even have to act this time, the sarcasm that was practically dripping from her voice came as naturally as breathing.

He ignored her comment, though, instead just turned around heading back out the door, leaving her in the room without any indication of whether or not she should stay or follow him. So there she was wondering if she should follow him. After a second of hesitation, she made a decision and took off after him with her sneakers squeaking on the polished floor, her backpack slung over her shoulder.

Her choice must have been the right one because when she caught up with Castiel and began to walk in step behind him, working hard to keep up with his long legs and fast pace, he didn't make a negative comment, or any comment at all. Since he obviously wasn't the talkative type and was paying as little attention to her as possible, it gave her time to study him for the report she was going to have to write up later and turn into her contact. His features she had down, blue eyes, short dark brown hair, almost black until the light hit it, stubble along his jaw, about six feet, etc. But now she took the time to take in his less important details, like the fact that he had on a tan trench coat. He also was wearing a business suit, unbuttoned over a white dress shirt and hanging from his neck was a loose, strikingly blue tie. What amused her slightly about the tie, it was hanging loosely and backwards, as if there was little effort put into it at all. Not exactly your typical 'gangster' wear. She briefly found herself considering whether he had a second job or if he just preferred that look.

They left the building and reached his car faster than she had expected, most likely a combination of how fast he walked and how close he had parked to the office building that Bridgit had been told to meet with them at. It was a two story building made from pale, tan stucco and a red ridged roof made from ceramic half cylinders. It belonged to some insurance company named Neico that the gang had obviously dipped into somehow. On the front of the building there was a freaking giant newt leaning against the 'O' at the end of Neico. Personally, Bridgit thought it was ridiculous. Who the hell gives an insurance company a weird amphibious, lizard thing as a mascot? They could have picked something better, like a gecko. Now geckos, they were amazing. Have you ever heard someone say 'I hate geckos'? Bridgit would bet that nobody had. She was at the point where she had begun to ramble inside her own head, trying to focus on a mundane and silly subject rather than think about what exactly she might have to do to prove her loyalty and capability. That look on Uriel's face was still unsettling her.

And so she found herself in the passenger seat of a silvery blue, cramped Gremlin, which while surprisingly clean. It was still going to make for an uncomfortable ride, a boring one, too, since Castiel apparently didn't listen to music and Bridgit was _not_ going to ask him to turn on the radio. Partly because he didn't seem the type to do anything he didn't want and partly because that would mean having to talk to him. She really didn't want to do that. No, she would rather sit in the tense silence for however long this ride would last.

After what felt like forever, they pulled up in front of a dingy, brick apartment building with rusting fire escapes and crumbling walls. The windows were nasty and in need of a desperate cleaning. The walls were nearly black in some places from who knows what, and Bridgit really didn't want to know what the dark stains on the stoop were from.

Of course Castiel was the first to leave the car, followed quickly by Bridgit who was making sure to stay close behind him as he made his way up the steps and into the building. He didn't bother with the man sitting behind the desk, instead going straight up the stairs. Bridgit wondered if they were allowed to just wander in like that, but her worries were quickly stamped out when the man barely spared the time from his magazine to give them a bored glance.

They climbed four flights of stairs before Castiel left their current landing down a dark, disgusting hall with cracked marble floors that might have been pretty once upon a time, but were now beyond repair and covered with stains that she doubted any floor polisher could get out. The walls were a thin plaster, painted an off white with dirty smudges and in some places chunks had been removed in one way or another. The doors were flimsy wood, barely even doors really, with giant black numbers nailed to the fronts.

Bridgit nearly bumped into the man when he stopped in front of one of these doors, a giant 47 was on the front, and knocked. She was hoping that whoever they had come to see would open the door and quickly because this part of the hall had the acrid smell of old vomit mixed with the unmistakable stench of piss and beer. Someone really needed to call health services on this place, it was so unsanitary it couldn't be legal.

"Stay silent and do whatever I tell you." He spoke to her for the first time since they had been in that tiny room at the office.

A little nervous from first-time jitters, all Bridgit could do was nod and maintain enough decorum to keep herself from backing out of this whole situation. She had to remind herself that by putting herself through this she would be saving lives and in the long run protecting her sister. That's all that mattered.

Castiel, seemingly satisfied with her response, looked back towards the apartment door in expectation, knocking again when there wasn't an immediate response. This time he was louder and they could hear a distinctly loud bang from the other side of the door followed shortly by muffled cursing and heavy footsteps that made their way toward the couple.

The door opened a crack before getting slammed shut again, the jingling of a metal chain and the sliding of metal on metal could be heard before the door was opened all the way. A man stood before them with a serious need of a shave and bath, his clothes could probably use a wash, too. He had on striped gray boxers, a stained white shirt and a ratty, old green bathrobe that was more holes than fabric. At first he just stared back at them with his red, blood-shot eyes, obviously drunk, stoned or even both.

"What d'ya want?" The words came out in a jumbled mess sounding more like 'whddyawahn?' than anything in the actual English language. He was swaying on his feet and holding onto the door frame for some support of support to keep from keeling over, his dull, watery blue eyes almost seemed to see through Castiel before they focused in on Bridgit. The glazed look becoming a little more clear, "Well aren't you a pretty thing." His speech had become more intelligible, but not more welcoming, "How about you ditch the coat an' have a lil' fun with me?"

What Bridgit really wanted to tell him was to fuck off, but a warning glance from Castiel made her change her mind. She was told to stay silent and she would, even if she was extremely nauseated by the sleaze ball trying to get in her pants and resisting the urge to have at him. She wouldn't give the precious Angels any reason to cut her loose. This was too important and it was bigger than this man testing her limited patience.

"We have not come here for fun, we are here for the two thousand dollars you owe Michael. Plus interest." Castiel's rough, monotonous voice cut in, silencing the man before he could even try to speak up again. The words had an instantaneous affect, the man's already pale skin became even more so and Bridgit could practically _see_ him sobering up in front of her eyes. At any other time, it would have been comical, but right now, it was just the start of a bad chain of events that would continue to get worse and make it glaringly obvious that she had gotten way in over her head.

"N-now just wait a moment." He had backed up, holding his hands before him in the universal sign of surrender, as if he wanted to stop them or push them away, "I'll get your money. I just need a little more time." It was almost like one of those cheesy crime movies you saw on daytime television, thugs visit some poor sap who borrowed money from a big bad head honcho. He's swamped in debt with no way to pay the thugs the money he owes their boss and promises he would have the money soon, that he just needs more time. Next thing you know… Yes. Bridgit could see where this was going and it took everything she had to stay composed. This man was most likely about to get very hurt, and while he was extremely creepy and repulsive she still couldn't find it in her to wish harm on him. Well. Maybe a little harm. She was human, after all.

Right on queue the man was shoved back into his apartment and practically thrown back onto a lumpy, black sofa by Castiel. Not exactly positive of what she was there for, or what to do, Bridgit entered behind them and closed the door, shutting the three of them into the foul apartment with the tiny click.

"You were given your time, now it's up. You do not have the money, but you still have your debt to pay." His voice remained completely emotionless, and that scared her more than it would have if he actually sounded angry or even happy. There was just nothing. To him it was just an everyday job that he had to do and he just didn't care about how he had to go about it. Orders were orders.

A fist connected with the man's face with a sickening crunch and blood began to pour out his nose, another fist hit him in the gut causing the guy to double over in pain, clutching at his stomach and wheezing. Over and over Bridgit watched as Castiel beat the shit out of stranger, she watched wide-eyed as blood began to pool out of his mouth and splatter onto his white tee. The guy had tried to fight back at first, but he was weak and still under the influence, his swings seemed to barely do any damage at all to Castiel's hard body. He just didn't stand a chance against the larger frame, stronger build and cold steely determination of the other man.

Finally, he was done and stepped back, breathing heavier than normal from the exertion he had used on the now broken, bleeding man splayed out on his back. It was then that Castiel seemed to remember Bridgit, or perhaps he had simply been ignoring her until she was needed, either way, he was now giving her his full attention as he slid a knife out of his coat's pocket.

She stared at the knife before reaching out a shaking hand to take it. Her eyes darted to look into his eyes with dawning horror. She couldn't hide emotions this strong and it was plainly written on her face. She wanted to know just what exactly she was supposed to do, but expected that it would be the last thing she wanted. Was she going to have to torture him? Or worse? Suddenly Uriel's face flashed through her mind's sight again, the fucking bastard, had he expected this? Reading the confusion on her face and ignoring everything else Castiel spoke.

"Kill him."

Those two words crashed through her mind with a flurry of panic and disbelief. They were only two words, but they would be enough to undo everything within moments. So they wanted her to be the one to kill this man, to stab him to death because he owed two thousand dollars? Was that what a life was worth now? Two fucking thousand dollars. She didn't even know the man's name, he was just the creepy robe guy that she had wanted to yell at for coming onto her, acting like he could get her after just meeting her. Uriel had said she was to collect a _payment_. Nothing was said about murdering the guy if he didn't have the money. Money, he probably knew the guy couldn't pay beforehand. But, if she admitted it to herself, deep down she knew it was going to come to this. She had just hoped she was being pessimistic, that this would just stop at the cheesy crime moment where they use a little violence, rough him up and scare him into paying. Not death. She couldn't do this. She had been naïve to think that she could do any of this, had she really expected that she could keep her hands clean of blood and still join?

"No." Her voice was shaky and she extended her hand, holding the knife in front of her, the handle pointed towards him. When she spoke again her voice was firmer, holding more conviction, "I can't."

He gazed at her, his big blue eyes studying her closely for longer than she would have liked, all the while he made no move to take the knife from her. As much as Bridgit tried she couldn't read his expression, all she could do was finally look away and study the bloodstains on his clothes, they almost looked like little flowers in the way that they soaked into the fabrics. The trench coat especially seemed to be covered with quite a few splatters of blood.

"Then leave, you are no longer needed." The way he said it made it clear that what he really meant was that she was no longer useful. He took back his knife from her before making his way back to the man, crouching before him.

"Leave?" She was incredulous, unable to accept that he had dismissed her. He was just going to abandon her here after making her do all this? Of course, it was no more than she had expected, but right now her mind wouldn't fully accept it yet. All this waiting, planning, hard work, and the fact that she had to watch him beat a man half to death was all for nothing?

"You were given an order, you did not obey. You no longer belong here so leave."

"Wait!" The word wrenched its way out of her mouth in desperation. Wait for what exactly? Was she really going to consider doing this? Bridgit took a deep breath. The man was going to die anyway, right? If she walked away now she would never be able to help as many people as she could with the opportunity she was wasting. And if she walked away the man would still die. A big but hung onto the end of that statement, because if she asked for that damn knife back, would he even give it to her? Could she risk not taking that chance, could she leave the apartment right now with a clear conscious or would she be haunted by the lives she _could_ have saved if she had just asked. She had to do this, because she might just be able to make it into the Angels and stop this from happening to some other poor fool. "Give me the knife back."

Her voice was hard, she did not say please, she did not beg him for another chance, but she did ask with a cold assurance that he would give it to her because she had to believe he would. He stood up from his crouch and made his way back to her, handing her the knife that had so recently passed hands. She was gripping the wooden handle tightly, setting her face into a mask of false bravado and self-assurance at the decision she had made for herself. Slowly she made her way to the man, putting one foot in front of the other as carefully as possible because she was afraid that the pressure of the situation would cause her to fall to the floor at any moment. It wasn't until the tips of her sneakers were almost touching him that she finally knelt on the floor, her hand shaking against her will, it just wouldn't still no matter how much her brain commanded it to. Metal rested against his neck before she closed her eyes, drawing the blade down and across his throat in one swift movement.

It's scary, when you think about it, how easy it is to kill someone. The unconscious man's throat began gushing blood, some of it getting on Bridgit's hand before she could remove it from his person. It had been like slicing through butter with a butter knife. It shouldn't have been that easy. She shouldn't still look the same after committing such a monstrous act but she knew she would, maybe a little more haunted, but still Bridgit Heather Bishop with her light bronze skin, dark brown hair, and brown eyes.

And there crouched in a growing pool of blood Bridgit silently mourned for the person she had once been. She mourned the loss of her sister because she knew in that moment that there was no way she could face her and go back to her old life after this. She mourned for the man she had killed, a man she didn't even like, one she couldn't even put a name to. It didn't matter that he had been a disgusting, drunk pig most likely addicted to drugs. It didn't matter that he had made bad choices, because he was still a person and she had killed him.

"Come." She didn't know how long she had been kneeling there, or how long he had been watching her, but Bridgit could have sworn when she looked up there was a look on his face that wasn't irritation, annoyance, or impatience. She could have sworn she saw a flash, if just for a second, of understanding and perhaps sympathy, but it was gone so fast she couldn't be sure if it had really been there. Still, though, he reached out and offered her a hand and she took it, allowing him to help her up.

They weren't friends. Hell, they were barely companions. Castiel and Bridgit were just two people who were stuck together for one measly assignment. Most of all, though, they were two people with blood on their hands that needed to clean up their mess and get the hell out of there.

Grabbing a few wet wipes from another one of his pockets, Castiel left her and began to wipe down everywhere they had touched something, or might have left fingerprints. When done, they both left, heading back to his car. This time, the doorman had paid them no attention at all leaving them free to leave with nobody stopping them, which was a good thing considering they were both covered in blood. She didn't think even that guy would let them just leave without calling the cops right after if he had seen them.

The ride back to the office was painfully quiet for Bridgit, she wanted to ask if she would make it in. She needed to know that what she did was worth it, but she refused to give in and ask. She just couldn't bring herself to do it. She was terrified that her first act of disobedience inside of that filthy apartment would be her last even though she had gone through with the order in the end. So, she remained quiet. Most likely, Uriel was going to want to meet up with her again anyway, whether or not she was in, just to gloat and rub it in her face if nothing else. Oh, joy.

When Castiel dropped her off in the Neico parking lot he left her with three words of parting that hit her to her core.

_It gets easier_.

Bridgit didn't want it to get easier. She didn't want killing to become second nature, just a job she could do without emotions getting in the way. She made way to her own vehicle and sat in the driver's seat, just staring out in front of her. Her eyes were burning from tears she couldn't allow herself to let loose, with pain and anger that she just couldn't let go. Not yet. There would be time for crying when she was through, for now though she had to keep going. When she finally put her keys in the ignition and started her car she didn't head for the small two bedroom house she shared with her sister. Matter of fact, Bridgit wouldn't see her home or her sister again for a very long time.


End file.
